Uncategorized

  • Joke-Differences In Dating

     

    WHITE WOMEN:
    First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
    Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
    Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.

    IRISH WOMEN:
    First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
    Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
    Third Date: You both get piss drunk and have sex.
    20th Anniversary: You both get piss drunk and have sex.

    ITALIAN WOMEN:
    First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
    Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mama Mia makes spaghetti & meatballs.
    Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3 carat ring.
    5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
    6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

    JEWISH WOMEN:
    First Date: You get dynamite head.
    Second Date: You get more great head.
    Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

    ORIENTAL WOMEN:
    First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
    Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner, nothing happens again.
    Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you've already realized nothing is going to happen again.

    INDIAN WOMEN:
    First date: Meet her parents.
    Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
    Third date: Wedding night.

    BLACK WOMEN:
    First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
    Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
    Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
    Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone else.

    MEXICAN WOMEN:
    First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, have sex in the back of her car.
    Second Date: She's pregnant.
    Third Date: She moves in. One week later: her mother, father, his girlfriend,
    two sisters, her brother, all their kids, her grandma,
    her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in
    and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice,
    but now looks like it belongs somewhere in
    the desert along the Rio Grande with chickens and goats in the front yard.

    (don't hate on me MrsHammett! I didn't write it, just thought it was funny,LOL)

     

     

  • 32 Inch

     

     

    Pictures 086.jpg

    Been thinking about replacing the 20" LCD TV in the pool room with a 32" Vizio Plasma. WalMart has it at $477 right now.

    Doesn't look like I'll be able to take any vacation time this year, Jack's still not able to come back full time.

    Might as well spend some of that accrued vacation pay on something I enjoy.

     

    VP322.jpg

     

    vp422.jpg

    Right?

     

  • New Video from The Void!

     

     

    Surprise!

    This is really pretty good!

    I'm impressed.

    Turn your volume up!

     

    The Ballad of John and Yoko

     

     

    For those that don't know, that left-handed guitarist is my nephew, Justin.

    The link to The Voids new YouTube page is here. Link.

     

     

  • Say Hey,Good Lookin'

     

    Say hey good lookin' whatcha got cooking

    how's about cooking something up with me

    Hey sweet baby don't you think maybe

    we could find us a brand new recipie

    I got a hot rod Ford and a two dollar bill

     and I know a spot right over the hill

    There's soda pop and the dancin's free

    so if you wanna have fun come along with me

    Say hey good lookin' whatcha got cooking

     how's about cooking something up with me
    [ guitar - steel ]
    I'm free and ready so we can go steady

    so how's about saving all your time for me

    No more lookin' I know I've been tooken

    how's about keepin' steady company

    I'm gonna throw my datebook over the fence

     and find me one for five or ten cents

    I'll keep it till it's covered with age

    cause I'm writin' your name down on every page

    Say hey good lookin' whatcha got cooking

     how's about cooking something up with me


     

  • New (to me) Pool Table Light

     

    Carly and John came home from Omaha last week and finally brought me the pool table light they had forgotten on their last trip.*ahem*

    October%202008%20106[1].JPG

    John's brother had taken it out of an old bar in Omaha and had no use for it, so they donated it to my favorite charity.

    Fits right in with everything else in my 100 year old house.

    It's old and was previously owned by someone else!

    October%202008%20115[1].JPG

    The work crew that hung the light, from left, my son Matt, me, and son-in-law John!

    The guy in the middle is smiling because he just realized it's beer-thirty on a Saturday!

    Life is good!

     

  • The Finished Pumpkin House-2008

     

    Karen and I drove over to Kenova earlier this morning, while the normal people were at church to avoid the crowd, and got some pictures of the Pumpkin House.

     

    pumpkin house 016.jpg

    pumpkin house 001.jpg

    pumpkin house 005.jpg

    pumpkin house 003.jpg

    pumpkin house 022.jpg

    pumpkin house 019.jpg

    pumpkin house 017.jpg

    pumpkin house 004.jpg

    pumpkin house 010.jpg

    pumpkin house 008.jpg

    pumpkin house 009.jpg

    pumpkin house 011.jpg

    pumpkin house 012.jpg

    pumpkin house 013.jpg

    pumpkin house 018.jpg

    pumpkin house 015.jpg

    pumpkin house 020.jpg

    pumpkin house 021.jpg

    Ric says they have had around 15,000 visitors so far, and expect another good turnout tonight and Monday!

    They'll start taking it all down on Tuesday morning.

    And do it all over again next year!

     

     

     

  • Pumpkin House '08 - in progress

     

     

    Took a little extra time at lunch yesterday and drove over to Kenova to check on the progress of Ric Griffith's pumpkin house.

    Pumpkin House 001.jpg

     

    Pumpkin House 007.jpg

    I talked to the guy on the right for a while, and he said they started early Saturday morning and had about 1/3 of the pumpkins up. Plans are to finish up on Thursday afternoon so it can be on display over the Halloween weekend.

    Pumpkin House 003.jpg

    Theyre trying to beat last years record of 3071.

    Pumpkin House 002.jpg

     

    Pumpkin House 006.jpg

     

    Pumpkin House 005.jpg

    Each pumpkin is intricately hand carved and wired for lights.

    Pumpkin House 004.jpg

    The ones on this 16' X 16' wall of shelves will be lighted and synchronized to classical music!

    This, when it's finished,  is something that you really should see if you're anywhere near the Tri-State area on Halloween!

     

    The link to my post on last years Pumpkin House is here.

    Ric Griffith also has an equally impressive 50's style sodashop and pharmacy. The link is here.

     

     

  • *EDIT*-Saadia's New Book

     

     

    Saadia's new book "Words Gone Wild" is available now for pre-order at Amazon.com.

    I pre-ordered mine today!

    You can order yours here!

    bud.bmp

    It's scheduled for release on Oct. 29th.

    Estimated delivery day for pre-orders is Nov. 4th

     

    Reviews:

    Saadia Aschemann is one of the best things to hit the poetry world in years. She s not merely a poet her writing is that of the true artist, of a composer who feels her craft and creates a masterpiece in each poem. Like many greats of her craft, however, she also writes with a simple magnetism that can draw even the greatest skeptic into an appreciation of poetry. An unforgettable treat, this is one book you don t dare miss. --Andrew F. O'Hara - Author of, The Swan, Tales of the Sacramento Valley

    Saadia blends ancient rhyme schemes with contemporary themes to create an extraordinary poetic voice. She has an unerring ear for poetry. --Jeff Markowitz

    When it comes to sonnet, she's totally on it. Breathless prose keeps you on your toes Saadia is the solution to word pollution. --Ed Katz -Asbury Park Press

     

    Would like to share with you what Saadia wrote in my signed copy of

    lavish lines/luscious lies

    Saadia's book.jpg

    Eat your heart out, Randy!hahaha

    Edit.

    Saadia's new book arrived today from Amazon.com. Over a week early!

    Good job, Amazon! Everyone that pre-ordered should be getting their copy soon.

    Enjoy, people. I am!

     

     

     

  • The Monkey Tale

     

     

    Once upon a time in a village, a man
    appeared and announced to the
    villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10
    each.

    The villagers seeing that there were many
    monkeys around, went out to the
    forest, and started catching them.

    The man bought thousands at $10 and as
    supply started to diminish, the
    villagers stopped their effort. He further
    announced that he would now buy
    at $20.


    This renewed the efforts of the villagers
    and they started catching
    monkeys again.

    Soon the supply diminished even further and
    people started going back to
    their farms.

    The offer increased to $25 each and the
    supply of monkeys became so little
    that it was an effort to even see a monkey,
    let alone catch it!

    The man now announced that he would buy
    monkeys at $50!
    However, since he had to go to the city on
    some business, his assistant
    would now buy on his behalf.


    In the absence of the man, the assistant
    told the villagers, look at all
    these monkeys in the big cage that the man
    has collected. I will sell them
    to you at $35 and when the man returns from
    the city, you can sell them to
    him for $50 each.'

    The villagers rounded up their savings and
    bought all the monkeys.
    Then they never saw the man nor his
    assistant ever again, only monkeys
    everywhere!

    Now you have a better understanding of how
    the stock market works.